TORONTO GIRL CHRONICLES

I have a terrible problem. I say YES to everything. Then I get overwhelmed. Somethings I say yes to I really mean. Do I want to go out for dinner? yes! Do I want to go out of my way to pick up your baby shower invitations? no, not really; I'll say yes anyways. I am sure that I am not the only person who suffers from the "yeses"... Its not that I don't want to do some of these things, but its just that I say yes to everyone and in the end I always end up sacrificing my time.

Then I don't have time to do groceries, clean my house or have me-time. I want people to like me, but then some people end up mistaking kindness for weakness. What happens next? I will say yes but I will end up resenting that person and therefore ruining our friendship.I was whining to one of my guy friends and his answer was very cut and dry. Simply say NO. Guys don't have this type of problems. They know how to set boundaries. I decided give this NO theory a try. I started by saying no to the things that were out of my way, things that I knew would not be feasible and frankly I didn't want to do. Then there were things that people really needed help with but I wasn't sure I'd be able to fit in my schedule, so I asked them to give me some time to think about it. Then I say yes to things that were absolutely necessary and that I really wanted to do.

In the end, when I started saying no some people where really surprised, some people where mad, some kept trying until I said yes (which I didn't, stuck to my guns), but the people that truly valued me respected my choice, thanked me anyways and still liked me. This is not to say I am an expert NO person, I still get a tug in my stomach when I say no, but the thing is: people who truly like you will like you whether you say yes or no, because they truly respect you.
So say yes to saying no...once in a while.