TORONTO GIRL CHRONICLES

So I am sitting here, with a big project staring back at me, from the side. It’s just sitting there waiting for me to finish it, but I can think of one hundred other things that I would rather be doing. I look around one corner and I see that I need to do laundry, which reminds me: I need to buy some detergent and I might as well do groceries while I’m at it. Coincidentally I notice that I am rather hungry…I just don’t know where to start …I think I rather just sit here and blog about procrastinating.


Procrastination is one of the toughest habits to break. I usually procrastinate when I’m overwhelmed and don’t know how to tackle a task. Then time disappears and I have to rush that daunting task, and by rush I mean half-ass it. Then I am disappointed in myself for not giving it my best.

The only tip that has ever worked for me was given to me by the smartest man on the planet:



Also I find it useful to write a list and start ticking off things.
Having said that, I’m going to go and get started on that project. Right after I do laundry…just kidding.



What are your tips for breaking the procrastination habit?

Its Wednesday night, I am sitting with a group of girlfriends, having a caramel macchiato at our local Starbucks. What are we talking about? Men. The ones we are dating, the ones we are not dating, the ones we want to date, you get the point. It really brought me back to the good ol’ days when I was single. Oh yes, I was out there, obsessing like the rest of my girlfriends…that is until my best friend and I made a pact to just go out to have fun. We embarked on a so-called "man diet."  We went dancing on Tuesdays and karaoke singing on Fridays. I got a second job, she joined a meet up group. She took a solo trip to Greece and later on I went to Paris for my birthday (solo). No strings attached, no expectations, no boys allowed. Just two single gals having adventures.

Think about it, how many hours do we spend, over analyzing matters “of the heart,” and how many hours do we actually dedicate to just living life? Does this make us any happier? Who is looking out for #1? So I say, stop obsessing. Create list of things that you want to do this summer for yourself, no one else.

Here’s my list:

• Take swing dance lessons
• Join a networking group for young professionals
• Have a picnic/ outdoors dinner party with my friends
• Eat at a fancy restaurant on the cheap
• Go on a road trip
• Take a class/lecture at one of the local universities
• Participate in a sports team
• Learn how to Rollerblade and experiment around the Beaches
• Rent a bike and bike around the Toronto Islands
• Go for long runs/ stairs around Casaloma every weekend
• Experience an Opera performance

…and yes,  I eventually got off the diet, because when I was at my best I met the best, and we still go on our separate adventures and have a blast reminiscing and exchanging stories when we get together.

P.S - Feel free to add on to the list, or better yet, share your own list.

I just read an article in the Toronto Star about Somalian born, Toronto bred  rapper K’naan. His song "Wavin' Flag" has been remixed and turned into a charity single (helping with Haiti relief efforts) and it has now been selected to be the World Cup song. The Toronto Star dubs it: "the little song that could". You could say that he's a Toronto boy that's made it not only in Toronto and in Canada, having won a Juno and a Polaris Prize, but now around the world, singing a song about hope and succeding despite the odds.

But I guess the thing that striked me the most was when he said he knew that the song was special right from the start, but it took him a while to let that song grow. That is something that I keep forgetting from time to time. Great things take time and nurturing. Like when you go to fashion school, you don't become a great designer in a second, you practice and practice, and you research ideas and try out different things, you find and define your sense of aesthetics and that first collection you present is special because you have been working and making it grow for a long time. And of course, you try to make it global, appealing to everyone, without straying from your message, which is a hard thing to do, which is why I guess it takes as long as it takes...

Click here to read the whole article.

If life is an blank page, what will you write on it? A great love story I am sure. Maybe one that includes a significant other, a family member, a dear friend or someone unexpected. However the most important love story that you should write is the one between you and yourself. A story where, in spite of yourself you learn to overlook your short comings and love you for who you are. A story where, in spite of the circumstances you rise to the occasion because you had faith. A story where, in spite what people said or thought, you stuck to your guns and stayed true to what mattered to you.
It boggles my mind how so many us will be picky about a new car, or an apartment and when it comes to a partner and how they treat us, we sometimes settle. We settle for someone that doesn’t call, that forgets our birthday or someone that disrespects our friends or family. Do we suffer from temporary insanity and settle for men that forget to treat us well?
It could be possible that we haven’t even recognized that we really are queens. We just don’t want to live alone, just like we don’t want to drive a car that breaks down or live in a place that stinks. I get that. But what do you do when you can’t find the perfect place? Toronto is a renter’s city; you know that eventually, the right place will appear. It is the same with a significant other. You need to have faith. Faith that you are a diamond and eventually, a person that knows your value will come along and you’ll both write a really beautiful love story, I’m sure. Until then, keep on writing your own.

To be completely honest I feel sorry for Adam Giambrone. He is the Chairman of the TTC and ex-Toronto Mayor Candidate (he is not running anymore) who had his campaign sabotaged by his personal life errors (read: he cheated on his partner). I mean, look at what he is going through right now. A series of lapses in judgement has cost him his dream. But then again we always get what we give. Karma's a bitch.

I once read that when you're on the way to the top you have to be nice to everyone, because you never know who will be there on your way back. That means being ethical and acting with integrity in every aspect of your life. That means going to bed at night knowing that you did the right thing as a daugther, as a sister, as a mother, as an employee, etc, as a total person.

I think its too late for Giambrone to apologize, but hopefully we can all see this as an example of what not to do.

Click here to read the whole story.

What do you think? Leave a comment...

My friend sent me this e-mail. I found it inspiring. I hope it inspires you too.
Happy Monday, Go out there and kick some ass!!!

An Excerpt from The Achemist: The Introduction

Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream.

Why?

There are four obstacles. First: we are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there.

If we have the courage to disinter dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward. We do not realize that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn’t work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: “Oh, well, I didn’t really want it anyway.” We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.


Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist
November 2002

P.S - This book is next on my list. I was told it would change my life...

I personally have never understood why being single is such a bad thing. Mind you, I'm twenty-five, I have two jobs, go to school, have a lovely family and friends and a list of extra-curriculars that keeps me fairly busy. I guess I've never had a chance to ponder on being single . However, I've always made it mandatory for me to spend quality alone time. Yes, I've been to the movies by myself, dinned alone, shopped alone, gone to a concert alone, attended a summer festival alone, even travelled alone. I had so much fun doing it, sometimes I think it will be hard sharing these things with someone else.
I think spending quality time with yourself is so important. Its so empowering to know that you don't need anyone to be happy and that you can make yourself happy. Getting to know yourself can be fascinating and sometimes you just need to be alone with your thoughts.

I found this lovely little blog post on dinning alone. I know exactly what Ellie (the author) means.

Today I was reminded in a rather rude way of my decision to quit dance. Was it a good one or did I make a mistake? It was a decision that I had been making for quite a while and it was not an abrupt one. Anyways, I am not trying to justify my choices. It’s really not the point. The point is that there will come a time when you need to change gears and decide where your life is headed.

I decided that I want to pursue higher education, not to get rich, but because after 25 years I’ve found my talents and strengths. Now I am finally ready, mentally, to take the steps I need to take in order to develop them. I’m at a point in my life where I know what I am capable of and I want to live up to my potential. It wasn’t an easy decision. There is nothing more terrifying than abandoning the familiar and jumping off to the unknown, hoping your parachute will open. Regardless, I don’t regret anything, and although it’s tough to stomach the rude comments, I always rest assured in the fact that I know what I am doing and that those who love me are standing right behind me to catch me in case the parachute fails.

If you are struggling to make a decision I found the following tools really helpful:

University of Calgary Decision Making Model - Its targeted towards career decision making, but I think it can be applied to anything.

Time-Management.com Decision Making Skills - Highlights 8 steps or things to consider when making a decision.

P.S - I will always, always love to dance.