I was just flipping through the movie reviews at Now Magazine and my attention was caught by “Our Family Wedding”. This is a movie about a Hispanic girl that falls in love with an African- American man and they decide to get married. As life has it, when families are involved, things are anything but uncomplicated. This reminded me of a recent conversation that I had with my mother about my own interracial relationship. I was telling her about a recent argument that we had and she didn’t even let me finish, when she pointed out that our relationship would be particularly challenging (not impossible) because we were from different cultures. What’s a girl to do? I like exotic men!
Living in Toronto, you can not get away from dating someone that is from a different culture/race/religion at one point or another, that’s the beauty of the city. But when it comes to getting serious, are you supposed to be more selective? I have a friend that is Muslim and she has dated every culture she’s been able to, until she came to the realization that her religion/culture was important to her and she wanted to get serious with a man that was as devout as her. So from that angle I can see how it would be important to find a partner with the same culture or someone that is willing to adapt a little. I have also witnessed couples, even in my own family, where people come from different backgrounds and still manage to make things work.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to knowing who you are and what your core values are. I think religion and tradition can be a core value. You should never ignore who you are, what’s important to you. Core values have more weight than culture. From my experience core values, like integrity, loyalty, ambition, are universal. If you find someone that shares that with you, add a pinch of love and all the other things can be worked out.
Have you been part of an interracial couple? What challenges have you encountered? How did you overcome them?
Resources:
The History of Interracial Marriages
oh! and watch the trailer!
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I love this post. I come from an interracial family and although there are always some cultural barriers in any interracical couple, if two people share the same foundational values like the ones you mentioned (e.g., integrity, loyalty, ambition, ect.)the problems that may come with an interracial relationship is definately a small price to pay! I think dating people who have different cultural traditions, norms, and beliefs, is an exciting and empowering learning experience that not only expands your knowledge of the world and people in it, but also allows you to understand yourself on a deeper level. But then again I may be a little biased.
Thank you for your honest, well-thought out comment! I know what you mean about learning from each other. At the end of the day we are all the same. But like you, I might be a hopelessly romantic biased girl :)