TORONTO GIRL CHRONICLES

This is a very insightful piece written by my friend J.Lewis, who never ceases to amaze me with her quirky, yet accurate, views of love and life. 



In a conversation not too long ago, a friend and I were once again participating in the female ritual of criticizing men. We ourselves have been sharing everything from the good and the bad, to the sexy and ugly for a number of years. We have had countless conversations over which men we should keep (for the meantime), which to throw to the curb, and which to love till death do us part. But no matter the man, be he the love our life or the jerk that never called us back, we have never been short of things to criticize.

During the most recent confab, I suggested our male counterparts were going through a third-life crisis, which was later revoked for the more accurate 30's-life crisis. Our loveable men, now in their early 30's, have decided it is okay to be a little moody or a little unpredictable (or both). They are taking on new extravagances and indulging themselves in what we consider more youthful hobbies.

Given some time to let the idea percolate, I have come the the decision that there is no such thing as a 30's-life crises. Or quarter- or mid-life crises. Much like our childhood invisible friends, or our daydreams of hot makeout sessions with McDreamy, these so called life crises are figments of our imagination.  In the most frustrating moments of our relationships we are forever looking for something to pin our partner's shortcomings on--because obviously WE would never choose to live with a man that did 'this' or 'that'. But this is the genius of humans, we are all allowed to be individuals who can decide what we do, and change our minds at any time. I'm certainly not saying this is always a good thing, but it's not always bad either, and as long as the thing we're complaining about is how our man has taken up paling video games for a couple hours a week, or watches sports 24/7 during the playoffs, I think we can all agree that it could be much worse.

Considering the vast majority of women are often more moody, unpredictable and indulgent than their men, I think that when the boys branch out, we should be a little more understanding. So does this mean that we shouldn't acknowledge our men when they change? Hell no. I will likely continue to call up my girlfriends and whine over a glass (or bottle) of wine, not only because it feels good, but because it is an important part of female bonding. The only difference may be that the next time I go to gossip about his latest quirks, I might be a little less sarcastic with my girls, and a little more understanding when I talk to Mr. Not-so-perfect-but-still-Mr. Right.